Flying North.

Flying North....

I think that title says more than I want to right now.
My time in Peru has drawn to a close...and at this moment I am in the REAP South mission office, surrounded by the things I am supposed to be packing.
I fly out tomorrow early in the afternoon and will get to Mexico around 6:30pm.
I can't wait to see Michael...my friends here in Peru can agree that I talk a lot about him. It has been a challenge to be so close to family in my heart and so physically distant.
I think I have grown a lot.
And I have made a lot of mistakes this summer....only to get up and walk again.
i want to thank all of you who are consistently praying for me...Luis, Don, Johan (you are the best), Chrissy, Bethers (hugs and kisses to the Staswicks!), Uncle Ger, Uncle Bill, Joel, Yasu (thank you for the letter) Greta, Jillian....and so many others. I think of you constantly...prayer for missionaries goes both ways.

I said goodbye to some Peruvians tonight...a goodbye that was so, so hard. I don't know if I am coming back...the invitation remains open, but if I have learned anything on this journey, it is that I cannot say "Tomorrow I will do this...tomorrow I will be in that place..." Because honestly, I can't know. That would mean making a plan....and as a fellow Nomad told me recently, that is not for me to do. I need to breathe easier. Play more soccer (Bethers, ready for inter murals??) write more reflections. Play more guitar. Stress MUCH less. beat on my Peruvian beat box...eat more rice and beans. ENJOY life....
Let my hair grow out...get more RASTAS...because one is cool, but not enough.

I have learned that saying goodbye is not getting easier, but I am getting better at hiding emotion. And that is not always a good thing. A friend told me recently that I am good at covering what I really feel with a always happy attitude...either that or a tough, "watch yourself or I might hit you" attitude...and these are not always good. Am I becoming harder? Or am I headed toward melt-down?
Oh Lord.
I want to feel again.

Saying goodbye to Sulan, Pedro and Ivan was genuinely sad. They are three Peruvian missionaries that have become so close to my heart this summer...I have so much to say about them, about their relationships with the Lord, about their hopes and dreams, their encouragement to me. Thank you Father for Ivan--a true to life Nikki Cruz that has gone from the streets to your service. Thank you for Sulan, a woman of valor and strength despite her 19 years...her youth does not stop her from being a true beacon of your love...Thank you for Pedro, who has been for me the kindest of brothers, the best of friends. I leave them in your hands.

Oh Lord... so many towns come in and out of my dreams...so many faces and names and adventures and prayers and combi rides and mountain climbs...
rice and potatoes, shooting stars and soccer balls, poetry while swinging around street lamps, trying not to cry while eating food in Lima in one meal that costs what it takes to feed a family for a week in Ayachucho.
A sweet kiss on the cheek by a summer missionary, a gift of a broken watch to remember a little brother by. Hugs from best friends I didn't know two months ago. The gaze of a toddler on the bus. A toddler that is very neglected...but today...all twenty hours of a bus ride between Marcabamba and Lima...he is mine.

Another plane ride tomorrow.
Waiting in the airport.
Thinking about home.
About Dad.
About coffee on the roof with my new book on Che Guevara.
Creeping into my sister's bedroom to scare them to death while they play.
Hugging my neighbor.
Taking wild metra rides to wilder bus terminals to even wilder cities outside of the D.F.
Whistling at construction workers and ducking real darn fast so they can't see.
Hanging up laundry.
scrubbing the dirt out of my collars....
thinking about the people I have left behind...but take with me at the same time.
The beauties of the Cierra, the Selva, and the Costa...
the Andes mountains, the jungle of Huanuco, the desert coast...I know them all, love them...
and am called on...
for now.

Atte:
TruthSeeker